Tuesday, September 20, 2011

JEN, this is for you.

Do you know about freecycle?
If not, I suggest you check it out. Basically, it's a worldwide network which people use to get rid of stuff which would otherwise be sent to landfill. They offer it up on the local site, and someone else (eg. Me) emails a request to them.

So I was off to pick up some glass bottles from a freecycle guy this evening. He'd told me to come between 6 and 8pm, number 33 C** Road, the one with no letterbox and a bus stop outside.
No problem. I got there, it was a bit hard to find, seeing as C** Road turns into B** Road (these are not actual road names, people, I'm attempting to preserve the identity of some weirdos. You'll soon see why I say that.) and the numbering of both is a little messed up due to a river crossing or two.
I digress. Yes, so I finally found 33 C** Road. Sure enough, no letterbox, bus stop out the front, and the door to the house was open, all as he'd explained.  I went up, was invited in, and the first thing he says is "I was expecting a guy actually!". Nothing too strange about that, my name isn't exactly a common one.
He directed me to follow him through to the kitchen, where he opened up a bar fridge and asked me which I was after... pointing out an array of small bottles with rather suspicious looking labels. Think cheap garish party pill type stuff.
At that point I wondered briefly whether he'd dialed an escort... the "I was expecting a guy" comment did match the copious amounts of gay porn on the walls of his house. Thinking rather swiftly, I came to the conclusion that I may in fact be at the wrong address. But here he was, expecting a guy called Stuart to turn up for the bottles, and I came to the door asking for the bottles... no wonder there was confusion. And the letterbox thing. And the bus stop thing. And the open front door! Very very weird coincidence.
I beat a hasty retreat, turned my car around and went and found the right street.
(I won't even tell you about how the guy at the RIGHT house actually knew about the goings on at the other house. It's just too fuckin' weird)