SUCCULENT

succulent
Originally uploaded by frogstarstrikesagain.

so so succulent.
read on...
well here i am back in christchurch, it's cold. no suprise there. hooray for my parents' house! heat pump and underfloor insulation.. such a treat after living in a damp swamp-house for the last couple of years.
i'm happy to be home, i really am. it was a fucking strange holiday. it had it's moments, sure.
anyway i'm back at work, back with my happy wee pikofamily. seeing T was playing on my mind a little (ahem, ok.. a lot). it was nice. cheeky girl, first thing she does is plant a kiss on me. *g*
she then 'booked' me for today... for the talk. eek. so she came over, we scuttled into my den (i have decided not to open the curtains for the duration of winter.. heehee) and she talked. basically along the lines of that she was very confused still. and trying to make a go of it with her man, but was still ridiculously attracted to me.. mentioned something about her body doing inappropriate things when she saw me yesterday. so the upshot: she was going to try vry hard to stop flirting with me, and get herself sorted out.
then she kissed me.
yes.
hmm, what's a girl to do? i did the only thing that came to mind... i kissed back. fuck, i'd forgotten. it is just *SO* good. so we looked at each other a little sheepishly, and then, well, i won't go into details. so the no-flirting-thing is staring as of tomorrow. and damn it's going to be hard... i'm worried. this level of sheer physical attraction is ludicrous. *gnashing teeth*
i am one confused and frustrated bunny.
help! please!
ps. just got this text: "still having naughty evil thoughts about you. it's not midnight yet, i'm still allowed. aargh if you weren't so damn cute and lush my life would be easier"

LETTER

hey T
naturally i've been thinking about you a lot... contemplating how things might've been in a different circumstance. like, no bloody husband! no recent ex.. that's something on my list of what i want out of my next relationship! been spending lucious minutes imagining your kisses, the way you feel... the way you make me feel. your smile. your warmth (in every sense).
i hope things are going to be ok between us. i really really do. i hope my heart doesn't squeeze and shrink when i look at you, or when i see you with someone else. i hope this hasn't wrecked a very cool budding friendship.
i want the good stuff.. the smiles and the laughs and the warm wonderful feeling you give me.
i'll not be sending this to you... but it feels good to write it anyhow.
with love,
eroica xxx

still in brisbane
still breathing
thank you
x

BIG BRISBANE BURBLE

so here i am in brisbane... yeah!
three weeks of warmth and ants and three lane roads.
sounds good, huh?
off to byron bay tomorrow, i'm very much looking forward to getting on the road again, seeing some beaches, relaxing into holiday mode. so far it's been a little weird. i haven't quite managed to let go of everything i've just left behind in chch. a very bloody odd situation. ok, let me fill you in a little. this 'plaything' of mine is a married woman. her man got wind of the situation (please don't ask how, it's just too convoluted. suffice to say that the grapvine in chch is a strong and healthy one). so, plaything (i'll refer to her as T from now on, ok?) and hubby called it quits. yes, really. next day i'm doing plaything's shift (as she was in no state to work) and in bowls this woman. i have no idea who she is... she comes up to the counter and asks if 'orika' is working. i figure she means me. so she asks to speak to me somewhere private... and proceeds to give me a right bolloxing. along the lines of "T doesn't want any contact with you whatsoever, i have her cell phone so don't even THINK about texting her, and anyway who the fuck do you think you are, they've been together for 10 years, up till a week ago they were talking about having kids, keep the hell out of her life and fuck right off". real nice. obviously i was a little shaken by this. oh, yeah.. she was T's boy's sister. ouchy.
needless to say, i was a little fragile for the rest of the day! at some point T turned up to say hi, give me a hug... she'd rung just after the nasty wee incident and was as shocked as me that it'd happened. god, what a fucking family. remind me not to have inlaws. ever ever ever.
so, where we're at now: no contact for the 3 weeks that i'm over here... no phone calls, no texts, no emails. she needs space to sort her head out. and wants me to get on with having a good time while i'm on holiday. it's weird though, of course i think about her and wonder how things are going. wonder what things will be like back at work in a couple of weeks. sheesh, look at me ramble. i was planning on saying a bit about australia.. but instead i'm issuing forth on the state of my bloody love life. eek, stop me now.
*deep breath*
so, as i was saying, brisbane. yes. it's big and pretty ugly on the whole. we've discovered a cool wee part of town called west end, filled with organic shops, mango sorbet, and queers. it's great. i'll be happy enough to avoid the rest of town, and just hang out there. might check out a couple of queer clubs in the valley tonight... though to be honest the 'scene' doesn't seem that appealing. i'm just not a sceney kinda girl. and i need a haircut... but don't go thinking i'm off to find an eighty dollero dykeymullet. not bloody likely. though admittedly it does look cute on T. god, there i go again, thinking about her.
hahahhhahhahahah *gulp*

UM

me tonight
Originally uploaded by frogstarstrikesagain.

FQ ARTISTIC: Create a quick piece of art for us...

well, here i am. me, now.

so this plaything fling may be over.
life is moving so fast in so many odd directions.
i don't know quite what to feel about it all.
no doubt i'll keep posting random inconclusive snippits here.
oh, and i got a very cool present today from someone wonderful.
(love you)

me in yellow room

me in yellow room
Originally uploaded by frogstarstrikesagain.

well there ya go then. it's me. as i am right now. well, about 15 mins ago if we're going to get all pedantic. which, by the way, is fine by me.