tomorrow i'm meeting up with someone i haven't seen in a year and a half. i'm a bit scared. he's someone who i once cared a great deal for. a good friend. and yes, there is more to the story, but i don't feel like writing about it. except to say that i was pretty cut up when he left town.
i feel like such a wreck at the moment, and i'm worried i'm going to come across as a fucked-up freak with very little going for me. which is probably true, but i'm not sure if i want him to realise that straight away.
actually i don't know what i want him to realise. i don't know what *i* want to realise. what if we don't get on anymore? i'd hate that.
what if i, ahem, fall for him again? no, that's a very bad thought. i have enough emotional turmoil as it is. no more is needed at the moment.
probably it'll be fine seeing him; we'll have a good catch-up, he'll leave, and things will get back to 'normal'. i should stop thinking about this.
if our [short] phone conversation is anything to go by, it'll be sweet tomorrow.
i'll let you know...
*wish me luck?*