yesterday i spent approximately 5 hours at work AFTER MY SHIFT ENDED. just because i couldn't think of a better alternative. it's my haven at the moment... it's easier to be at work than to be in the rest of my life.
it's my dad's birthday today. i'm at their place now. it was the last place i wanted to come after work, and when i arrived i bumped into my into my brother on the street... he's just had a huge fight with dad. so, you can imagine how much i was looking forward to venturing inside. anyways, i bit the bullet, hid all signs of my own emotional fragility (more than usual today, i've spent a lot of time trying not to cry, and feeling useless), and braved the potential wrath of my dear papa. turns out he was more sad and worried (my bro was obviously on drugs, my dad worries) than angry, which of course is a hundred times worse.
***fuck this, i'm leaving.
someone please write and tell me that i'm great. or at least bearable. SOS!