iLLUSTRATiON FRiDAY ~MONSTER

well we all know it's not friday, but when was i ever one to play by the rules? (and by the time the illustration friday site updates it's already saturday here, so really it's of little consequence when i post a picture.)
anyway, this weeks theme is monster, and this little beastie is the monster bug who has stolen my brain, replacing it with snot and aches. god i hate being sick. *sigh*

iLLUSTRATiON FRiDAY ~FEET

feet2
Originally uploaded by frogstarstrikesagain.

i'm sure i've blogged this picture already... but today i do for illustration friday.

YOU iNSPiRE ME

i have this friend, corrina. we met a few years back in melbourne. we had a ball, in the company of a couple of english lads. out of a diet of cheap wine and vic's $3 backpacker meals grew a cool wee friendship between the four of us. she had a crush on steve, i had one on oli. the next year she visited me at home in nz, before disappearing off into the blue yonder. we didn't email each other very often, just those once in a while nice to hear from you kind of emails.
at some point last year she emailed me again about this life coaching course she was doing... she was so happy and vibrant (well, when isn't she?) and full of love and life! and... she came out to me. *g* funny thing is, she didn't know i was comrade in arms. so that was brilliant, a bit of a giggle. we're back in contact (aargh, i should write more i know) and a couple of days ago i received in the post a big parcel from the UK. yay! a lovely letter and 3 old copies of diva, a brit dykemag. hooray for her! what a sweet unexpected suprise.
i'm loving having her back in my extended worldwide circle of friends.

(she's got a website too, but it's not up and running just yet)

E-WHAT-iCA?

things that sucked about the erotica lifestyle expo last weekend:

jasmin the aussie porn star. all silicon tanned blondness. *gag*
(if one so desired, a photo of oneself with aforementioned floozie draped upon aforementioned self could be purchased for some suprisingly high price) (there was also some porn-bloke who reminded me of tarzan available for photos)

the "wangs R us" style sex-toy-best-left-in-the-catalogue stalls. how many versions of a super life-like 24 inch dong do i need to be offered???

aargh, and the dvds. *yawn* *retch* *eye-roll*
my favourite title of the evening --> "i like it black, and deep in my ass: vol. 3"

the entry fee. i certainly didn't get my $15 dollars worth.

the old guys with pot bellies wearing nip-clamps at the ONE bondage stall. and the fact that all their gear is made from animal products.

the crowds of typical bloody christchurch rugby types. especially the ones right up at the stage, getting the best view of the worst jasmin had to offer. *shudder* gross leery drooly lumps of flesh that they are.

listening to one of my creepier customers asking someone how exactly to find the g-spot, and nodding very enthusiastically at the explanation. pfff as if you're EVER gonna get laid, buddy.


the not so bad stuff:

well, the highlight (predictably) was the d-vice stall. charming and bent as ever, those girls have class. and their toys are undoubtably the best on the market. girls and boys, when searching for your next plaything you need go no further.

bumping into steve how's-your-mother gurney at the g-spot talk, after having spent the previous evening in his delightful/odd company. he was as pleased to see us as we were to see him. and our presence didn't stop him asking questions. (yeh, him and that creepy customer)

a video of a very cool session in which a woman grew wings and flew... (think pegs, think feathers, think needles and whips)

favourite invention: a vibrating glove. hehe. made my scalp tingle.

***
in summary: very tacky, very hetero, not nearly kinky enough.
***

in other news: this weekend i have walked on a hill, eaten pasta salad, slept to the sound of the sea, decided on a holiday and then had it pulled from under my feet, been peed at (not on) by a hyperactive poohuahua, done rude things against a wall, bought a book i've been trying to find for years, and had a serious-ish talk about the direction 'we' are headed.
so how about you?
x

i just had a weird moment when i suddenly had the thought that maybe two people that i know are actually the same person, pretending to be each other.
help!

YOU HAVE CHOiCES

i could post about 3 things. you choose. or if you all stay as quiet as church mice i may just post anyway. but probably not. so choose.

1. an evening with steve how's-your-mother gurney

2. the erotica lifestyle expo

3. nah, just choose from those two.

this evening after i got home from work and ate dindins i made a vegan cheesecake. for, you see, it's my girl's galactic birthday tomorrow. i don't know what that means either, but any excuse for cake...
i'll let you know how it tastes.
*smooches*

SORRY SORRY SORRY!

..sorry for not updating, to those of you who are asking how i am.
i'm ok. we're ok. we are a bit different. she is happier. i am adjusting. we still love one another and love what we have between us (no strap-on jokes please) (oh, go on then).
you know, i'm really much better at answering questions than formulating posts. so if you want to know any more, do ask.
and thank you for caring.
*kisses*

darlings, wish me luck and love.
i'm off to find out if my girl is still my girl.
and, i'm frightened.
x

THERE'S A HOLE iN MY CHEST

here's an excerpt from a letter i'm writing to vanessa.
(v, shut your eyes if you think it'll spoil the real-live-letter experience in a few weeks)

"going through some hard stuff with that girl of mine. after 3+ weeks on her own she's realised she hasn't dealt with the whole marriage ending thing. and now she doesn't know whether she can be with me while she goes through the inevitable grieving. so i'm sad and i'm upset and i'm more than a little fucked off. i knew we'd come up against this at some point. i know what i want: i want her (us?) to figure out how to deal with that stuff without throwing away what we've got. because we have a DAMN good thing going and it hasn't yet run it's course. no WAY is this thing over yet.
vanessa, thinking that in a week she may decide we can't be together brings tears to my eyes. thinking about what i might do, all the great opportunities i have if that is the case, brings tears to my eyes. i'm not ready to end this. i still want her (becasue ti's the wanting, not the needing, that's important right? need isn't a good enough reason to stay in a relationship that hurts like this). anyway, i think i'd be too weak to end it with her even if i did think it was wise. and too stubborn - i have this stubborn urge to prove that all the shit we went throught at the beginning (and now) was worth it. that this isn't a painful 9 month affair, destined to leave me in pieces. this has GOT to be more than that. and it is. it's love, and the love hasn't ended so why should the relationship?"

i've spent the day wandering sightlessly through hot noisy streets, holding back tears. this isn't where i thought i'd be today.

HAPPY BiRTHDAY TO MY FAVOURiTE BOY

[artwork by the charming and mulit-talented michelle]

what to say about darling sweet jeff today. birthday boyo... super-friend extraordinaire, partner in crime, coffee buddy, the other half of my joke, bloody irritating prat... all that good stuff wrapped up in a very pleasing package. (hehe, did i say package? *g*)
j, you in turn brighten my days, and lurk in the dark corners with me when i don't have any desire for sunshine. you listen to me ramble, you tell me to get a grip, you laugh at me, you laugh with me. hell, i laugh at you too to be fair.
we've got a good thing going, kiddo.
and there's lots more chapters to come, i promise. you're in my heart tonight as i write this, wishing i could be there with you to celebrate. i'm sending you my deepest love, and you can cash in on birthday hugs when you're next here.
i love you babe.
e